Goodbye is never easy!

Counting down the days until the end.
Counting down the time until the end.
I don't want to say goodbye.
But I have to say goodbye.

Goodbye is never easy.
Goodbye is never easy.

I never want to say goodbye.
I am afraid to say goodbye.
I am scared to say goodbye.

But time is never on my side.
Time is never on my side.

Our time of this year is about to end.
Our time of this year is coming to the end.
Our time of this year has gone...

It is time...
It is time..
It is the time of the year again...

Appreciate time!

What changes a year had made.
A year ago I was on the other side of the fence asking for your time...
A year later you were on the other side of the fence asking for my time...
I am different...
I appreciate time...
I appreciate life...
I appreciate love...
I appreciate what makes me and each other happy...
If you can't give me time, I would walk away...
But if you make time, I would stay even for just a second...
If only you make time, I would come to be with you...
If only you make time, I would not deny our passion...

One said I do really love the guy...
It's true I do really love the guy...

Gentle love...
Passionate love...
I appreciate time you have given me...
Appreciate me and my affection...
One day we will meet again...
For now, remember me...

Friendship in love

Life is tasteless without love.
Love is tasteless without feelings.
Relationship is tasteless without feelings.
Relationship is tasteless without passion.
Relationship is tasteless without friendship.
So there it is.
Relationship starts with a friendship.
May your life become tasteful ever after.

Lonesome!

Looking and looking....
Fighting the urge to contact...
Where would you be when I need you the most???
Struggling to find my way back to life...
Giving up on asking you to understand...
Giving up on waiting for you to contact...
Giving up on waiting for you to fulfill your promise...
Sometimes I wonder why I even bother to be yours...

Lost soul

You are not a smart man...
You are just a man who lost his soul and his faith in love...
A smart man does not call names to another human being...
A smart man does not blindly accuse another human being for something that he/she doesn't commit...
A smart man listens to reasons...
A smart man looks into facts...
A smart man allows another human being to prove his/her worth...
A smart man learns from his past and does not get stuck in his past...
A smart man who wants happiness learns from his past, moves on and opens his heart to the world and the truth...
A smart man should learn from his past to know why he had to go through the hardship or to experienced the betrayal...
Everyone is different in his/her rights...
Never put everyone into the same basket just because you experienced the worst from one person...

Soul searching

Dear my beloved soul!
I love you baby!
But I don't know what has gone wrong!
Now I am searching for you again!

All I want was to be free yet captured yet wild yet calm yet yet yet...
Maybe nature will help find you again...

You are my baby...
You are my dream...
You are my breath...
You are my heart...
You are my life...

Sinking ship

Worthless...
Unworthy...
Self center...
No self respect...
No self worth...
Bullying...
Harassing...

Soaking it all in...
Soaking it all in...
Soaking it all in...
Feeling it all in ...
Feeling it all in...
Feeling it all in...
Drowning it all in...
Drowning it all in...
Drowning it all in...
Sucking it all in...
Sucking it all in...
Sucking it all in...

Worthless

He said I am worthless...
He said I do not have self worth...
He said I do not have self respect...
He said I do not know where I stand...
He said I do not know the boundaries...
He said I grow the fuck up...
He said I should move the hell on...

21 days...

Day 1 I am the fire Raven 

Day 2 you are my fire 

Day 3 the one who fuels my fire

Day 4 you are my flame

Day 5 the one who fuels my desire 

Day 6 you are my air

Day 7 the one who breathes my passion

Day 8 you are my wind

Day 9 the one who flows my  heart

Day 10 you are my earth

Day 11 the one who holds my soul

Day 12 you are my water

Day 13 the one who nurtures my body

Body, Soul and Mind intertwine

Ever feel like you miss that one person for no reason ?

Missing not one but two people at the same is not good especially the same song reminding you of both of them.

Missing one because my heart belongs to that person.

Missing one because his presence always makes me happy even though I only knew him in a short period of time. Yet he believed in me and gave me the power to conquer my fear! He left without saying goodbye in person but a gesture that he thought of me but we can't be where we both can't meet.

Just wish I could get the song out of my head!

Confused

I have never been so much confused in my life...
My heart loves someone else...
My mind yearns for someone else...
But my body wants them both...
I miss them both...
They both could make my head spin in their own way...
One has been giving me so much grief yet so much joy at the same time...
Why would I still love and want someone who's already let me go...?
I have always been his back-up plan...
One has always been giving me so much passion but never felt enough...
Why do I feel so wrong to want them both???

Feeling loved

In his own way, he has never said he loves me...
In his own way, he has never made me feel bad...
In his own way, he has never made me feel unwanted...
In his own way, he has always made sure to communicate with me every day...
In his own way, he has always made me feel satisfied...
In his own way, he has always been happy making my head spin with his wicked ways...

Loneliness

I thought I was where I wanted to be!
But I just realized I were not where I wanted to be!
Loneliness is not what I want to feel
Coldness is not what I want to feel
I want to be home
Home is where my heart is
I am not home

Heart wandering

Why do my heart feel empty?

Why do my heart feel cold?

Why do my heart feel lonely?

Why do my heart feel unfulfilled?

He's  there...

He's close...

But he's not here...

He's not for me...

He's silent...

My heart loses interest in love...

My heart yearns for something I can't describe...

My heart wanders again...

My heart wants love...

My heart wants life...

My heart wants warmness...

My heart wants sweetness...

My heart can't handle bitterness...

My heart can't handle madness...

My heart can't handle angriness....

Too hard and too much!

I don't know if it is because I am too strong for a woman...
I don't know if it is because I am too independent for a woman...
I don't know if it is because I am too tired of making everyone happy...
I don't know if it is because of the effects of being the person to pick up all the hard works in the relationship to make things work for a long time...
I don't want to be the one to pick up pieces of the heartbroken...
I don't want to be the one to babysit the relationship when things go sour...
I don't want to be the one to comfort all the times...
I don't want to be the one to be strong when things are not good in someone else's life...

If you really love me, make me feel the love... make me feel special...

I am fading .... I am falling...

Happy Valentine's Day!

Would you be alone on Valentine's Day?
Would you be happy on Valentine's Day?
Would you be missed by anyone on Valentine's Day?
Would you be loved by anyone on Valentine's Day?
Would you be mine for Valentine's Day?

Questions questions questions...
Testing testing testing...
Have a wonderful Valentine's Day whether or not you are single or with someone special....

Loneliness and happiness

Sometimes, in the moment of loneliness, you remember the moment of happiness that would make you smile.
Sometimes, in the moment of sadness, you remember the person who made you smiled when you had a really really bad day.
I miss you today.
I miss you more today.
I felt the loneliness...
I felt the happiness...
I felt the sadness...
I felt the frustration...
I felt the desperation...
I felt everything falling down...
I felt everything just disappear...

I miss you today...
I miss you more today...
I miss your smile...
I miss your goofiness...
I miss your goodness...
I wish you were with me...

You always made things better when things went wrong around me...

You finally lost me!

I couldn't cry about it...
I couldn't feel about it...
I couldn't talk about it...

I wish I could take it...
But I couldn't...
Anything but that...

Why ?
Why ?
Was I not enough that you had to ask for the one thing I hated the most in a guy?

I thought I could get rid of the image of you at that moment...
I couldn't...
I couldn't...

My passion for you just went away...
But not without pain...

No no no!!!
No more on your on call list!!!
This flavor is discontinued from serving you...

You're not the one but you're one

If I can't see you through a song, you are not the one...
If I can't see you through a scene, you are not the one...
If I can't see you when I close my eyes, you are not the one..
If I can't feel you when I close my eyes, you are not the one...
If I can't smell you when I close my eyes, you are not the one...

But when I see you, you are the one who makes me want to be with you...
But when I see you, you are the one who makes me feel alive...
But when I see you, you are the one who makes me fill with passion...
But when I see you, you are the one who makes me fill with fire...
But when I see you, you are the one who makes me stay high...
But when I see you, you are the one who makes me scream...

Fill me up...Take me to the sky...Stay high...

Age... The Battle against Time

Each year you aged one more year from your life...
Each year you asked how many more would there be for me on this earth...
Each year you asked how many things would I take off my wish list...
Each year you asked am I there yet...
Each year you asked with whom I would be this year...

Each year you are older a little bit...
Each year you see another fine line another wrinkle twinkle around your eyes...
Each year you look back the one before...
Each year you wish things would be different somehow...
Each year you keep on going...with everything you have in your heart, body and soul.

I wish I would have done more the year before...
But it's just only wishing... I can't go back in time to change anything...

This is for me to remember how I looked on my 42nd birthday!